Monday, July 04, 2005

Suicide Hotline.. Please wait

Suicide hotline... Please wait, we will answe your call immediately and if we don't this means that our internet server is down and we don't have the guts to explain to our "beloved" customers the real reason!! Yep, am not gonna mention the Internet Company's name, cause i don't wanna give them bad publicity. But here's a few notes about Customer Support:

a) The "We could be heros" song rings in your ear for almost 20 minutes, until finally a rather blessed employee picks up the phone. [One tip: we could be heros, believe me, answering the phone quickly is enough for us!]

b) Customer Support X: Customer Support X, how may i help you? May i spin around the problem for the next 5 minutes until u get bored, and i fix it when i am in the mood.

c) Customer Support X: Can you hold on for a second? [And a lifetime passes and then..] Look, can i call you back [they never do]! Aha.. what's your number...

d) Customer Support X: Aha, so what's your problem again. Aha.. did u check the username and password [Of course, u know the whole department by now, since each one throws the trouble into the other's lap]... Oh so you checked the password. Hmm!! You know what, wait a second [Tooot Toot, call transfered to a new Friendly Helpful Gleeful C.S X)

Anyone familiar with this whole routine? And here's a shocking story, one time i had a problem with my internet, and i called up customer support!! And guess what... the customer support lady told me to hold for a second, and obviously she forgot to put me on hold, and i heard her talking to her collegues around her about her sister's wedding! Okay, pardon my french, but isn't this a C.S department, you're supposed to be suppporttinnggg MEEEE. Yes Me ME and only Me: the selfish, ignorant, illeritate customer who every calls everytime for you to ask "P from pig or from big!" God damn it!! I've been speaking for three years in foriegn conventions, my english is fine... get to the problem will ya?

Now "C for customer support or for crapland"!!

9 Comments:

Blogger madas said...

I have read your comment on my blog about your friend who committed suicide, and i was shocked! the thing is i found out that when people are hit with a life changing experience, they become very interested in theme. One of my best friends was sexually abused, and i know how that effected me.

6:43 AM  
Blogger Amino said...

Yeah it affects you in an odd way. I am writing this book, about Suicidal thoughts --> of course that's 7aram !! LOL

7:13 AM  
Blogger jameed said...

Tired of customer service? Well try this, after a long wait, hitting number 1 "para servicio in Igles" and punching in your model and serial numbers and your home phone number and selecting from a wide variety of options that you have to repeat the main menu twice to remember what the first 2 options were, HP redirects your call to India (I am not saying Indians don't know tech, they do w nos) where you get some kid with a heavy accent on the other end. The line quality is usually bad so this doesn’t help the frustration that is building up. After two or three calls to HP you are pretty much as an expert as their customer support personnel. Here are the three steps to solve any problem:

1. Restart you computer
2. Unplug it and leave it unplugged for a while.
3. Format the hard drive and reinstall all the crap that came with the original CDs

If the above fails, you have to send in your PC for repair.

The only company that is worse than HP is AT&T.

7:36 AM  
Anonymous Amin Matalqa said...

I made a short film about this issue:

http://homepage.mac.com/amatalqa/iMovieTheater19.html

1:35 PM  
Blogger Omernos said...

Amino,
really great idea. I would love to work in Suicidal Hotline where I tell them all my problems, later on they would die and nobody would ever know.
"Go Look At Yourself In The Mirror, Do You Worth Living? Your just another element in The Carbon Dioxide, Oxgyen Consuming cycle"
hehehehehe, ma a7qarni :P

p.s: Jameed, hehehe, nice name.
Karaki wella Sul6y?

Le Garcon De Reves Fragile
>i just made that up ~_~

1:56 PM  
Blogger jameed said...

Karaki walla...

10:51 PM  
Blogger madas said...

Amino, I dont like this trap we fall into 7aram and 7alal... we are not God and we dont know how God judges. Maybe this person was mentally sick and she had no control over her actions, even if people did not know, even if she herself did not know. and maybe that is what pushed her to kill herself, whose fault is this, is is hers? if God is the bsolute fairness, then He should take this into consideration... I mean if you think in terms of halal and Haram you should also think He made her sick... no?

5:37 AM  
Blogger Amino said...

Madas, I was being sarcastic, and what your wrote is my exact conviction, i think we should leave it up to god to decide, we are not qualified to judge each other in terms of god's rule for one simple fact: we are not God.I had to go through a year of hell, because no one would hear me out, because what she did is 7aram (in people's eyes), not mine. I just saw, a very tortured abused person,who needed help... i wished someone would tell me "It's okay" and hug me, rather than tell me "What she did is 7aram, u shouldn't be sad or cry."

5:47 AM  
Blogger madas said...

I will hug you now, after all this time, and tell you how sorry i am about this whole thing, and ask you to forgive yourself and forgive her... Bad things happen and they are out of our control...Let God decide, and remember God is Merciful and also think that your friend is finally free and happy... It is not your fault, it is not her fault, it is just the way things are... Also for whatever worth this is from a total stranger i am very proud of you for getting out of this experience a strong person.

2:36 PM  

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