Thursday, June 30, 2005

What defines you...

I had a fight with my mom today about something so silly: a mug!! Yep, a mug with ears and a nose. One of those childish green ones that adults despise. And we were both screaming at the top of our lungs, and then i said "Why didn't you just throw me in some abbey!" and the thud of my bedroom door woke the neighbors up i guess. And for 15 whole minutes, all these angry thoughts swarmed through my head, starting from suicide to running away, and then it was converted into sexism anger, and then onto the fuel rates in the next two weeks, and finally to the fact that i am having a hard time in the french class. And here's my point, we were both angry at other things, and we were screaming not because of that "sweet adorable" *cough cough* "that monsterous green mug" it was because we had a package of anger downloaded and archieved into our system. After the download, we didn't talk about it, and in the end we fought over a mug! And when i realized that, I thought, am becoming everything that i despise, am not being honest about my feelings, am not apologizing, am shutting the world out, and am giving up. The very same qualities i hate and criticise. So i went back into the room, and said "I am sorry, i didn't mean to scream, and i didn't mean to nag"
Whoa, that must be a life changing moment don't you think. Why did i do that? Because i realized that in their time, the parents were superior, and they had no right to argue with them. And also in their time, their parents never apologized to them, cause you're the child and we're your life donars. Believe it or not, when i thought of it that way, i calmed down. Just like i was exposed to a different life at school, they were exposed to a conversative lifestyle and strict rules. I may not understand them, but i know i don't want them to change me, that's why i'd be a hypocrite to ask them to change.
I always said, that a person should adapt with his present environment, but i know that even if twenty years later I'd still be me, the very same person with few additions depending on the experiences i go through.
But am not saying this is the end, the fight for what i believe in is long. My journey is long, and everytime i get angry i remember that incident in 7th grade.

I was in trouble for an article i wrote about corruption and my favorite teacher told me "What you wrote is wrong." and i said to her "It's wrong because you're You and am me. What defines you as a human being does not define me." I still remember that day, and how she smiled sarcastically and said "3am btemshi 3akes il tayar, ra7 tet3abi kteer be 7ayatek."

So here's what i want from you, anyone who is reading this, follow your dreams, channel your anger into energy to keep you going. Fight for what you believe in, and if one day you hear "3am btemshi 3akes il tayar." Remember what i said "it's wrong because you're You and am me. What defines you as a human being does not define me."

10 Comments:

Blogger Linda said...

omg i so hear you on this. sometimes i find myself screaming with my parents about the most stupid things, but they really are about something else. and after the fight, when i go to my room, i think about all these emotions i am going through. wow, i thought i was the only one who goes through that. thanks for this post!

1:35 PM  
Blogger Ibrahim said...

well, you just made me register here in blogger.com so i can comment on your blog ...
i think you should change your blog settings to let other bloggers like me comment on your blog ...

anyway ...
i know how you feel about that, everyone pass by this stage of life maybe not everyone had a problems with his parents but most of us at least ... coz i know your thoughts and their thoughts are totally differents... so it suppose to be like that.
for me i used to do fight everyday with my father sometimes with no reasons... coz i wanted to do things that he dont want me to do ... but day by day ... he get used to that and in certin point he started to understand that this time is different and things are not like before. but the good thing was that after every fight we get back togather like nothing happned and someties we get back in the same day sometimes after one week ... depends on the problem.
but now that was a stage of my life and i live alone now away from my family ...
so i started to believe that i was wrong about lots of things and my parents were right about it ...

i really miss the family life but i dont want to get back to it ... lol :D
lots of things changed and i changed also my look to the life changed ...

so for you dont worry someday they will understand you and you will get over this ...
but be patient, life is full of problems which are bigger and more bigger than the problems you have ...

damn i feel myself like 50 years old lol ...

anyhow ... you are a good writer i like to read your blog ... welcome to the blogs world :)


ibrahim

6:01 PM  
Blogger madas said...

I liked you post a lot... mainly because many people go through this but very few admit it... anyway, I dont agree that parents are superior, parents are parents abnd they are human beings who provide unconditional love... and once oyu start realizing this your relationship with them changes completey...

6:54 PM  
Blogger Amino said...

Linda - Hehe, everyone's the same in this i guess must be the damn DNA.

Ibrahim - Oh i'll change the settings in a sec. Welcome to blogger anyhow. Well i hope this "stage" will be over soon, cause am tired!! Thanx for reading my blog Ibrahim!! ;)

madas - Hey, i was saying that parents in their age were "superior", they were the ultimate power in the house who no one should argue. I do understand the "unconditional love" thing, however i believe some parents lack the communication skills to keep their relationship with their kids healthy. No one should suppress his anger - whether a parent or not. This is my point, we should talk about rather than "Netfashash" bel nas! ;)

5:46 AM  
Anonymous Rania said...

"I may not understand them, but i know i don't want them to change me, that's why i'd be a hypocrite to ask them to change." Thank you.

I wish I could do what you did- apologize. I often feel so guilty after our "arguments" but I end up writing my apologies and regrets to myself, wishing I could mouth them. I know it would be a life changing moment like you described it.

12:17 PM  
Blogger Hoodia said...

Help me Dude, I think I'm lost..... I was searching for Elvis and somehow ended up in your blog, but you know I'm sure I saw him in a car lot yesterday, which is really strange because the last time I saw him was in the supermarket. No honest really, he was right there in front of me, next to the steaks singing "Love me Tender". He said to me (his lip was only slightly curled) "Boy, you need to get yourself a San Diego cosmetic surgery doctor ,to fit into those blue suede shoes of yours. But Elvis said in the Ghetto nobody can afford a San Diego plastic surgery doctor. Dude I'm All Shook Up said Elvis. I think I'll have me another cheeseburger. Then I'm gonna go round and see Michael Jackson and we're gonna watch a waaaay cool make-over show featuring some Tijuana dentists on the TV in the back of my Hummer. And then he just walked out of the supermarket singing. . . "You give me love and consolation,
You give me strength to carry on " Strange day or what? :-)

2:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Amino I like your blog. I hope you have a chance to take a look at my new website on Power-Pops . Are your ready for the weight loss revolution!! With Power-Pops we have developed a unique and revolutionary system to lose weight - in the form of a lollipop. How Does it Work? This product will suppress your appetite and food cravings, increase energy levels, and burn fat and calories in a safe and natural way. What makes our candy even more effective is that it will also give you an alternative to heading to the refrigerator and grabbing a snack out of habit instead of hunger. The Sweetest Way to Lose Weight! http://www.power-pops.com/seweightloss/powerpop.htm

6:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello
Mac OS X software,news driver ,games
http://italiagame.org

G'night

8:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello
soft for windows software,news driver ,games
http://italiagame.org

Bye

6:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BUY CHEAP SUPER VIAGRA ONLINE AND SAVE 70 % OF MONEY...
BUY ONLINE HALF-PRICE VIAGRA. CHEAP VIAGRA
BUSINESS CREDIT CARDS ONLINE

5:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home